I go to sleep at night with memories running through my mind. Memories of moments that I regret or know that I will someday very soon. Memories are what I fall asleep to, and are what keep me up at night.
But for every moment that I regret, I take solace in knowing that there is one person these things will never be a secret from. There is one person who I trust above all others, who I have never felt I needed to hide myself from. He knows me for the good, the bad and the ugly. He knows me for the scandals and the accusations, and he knows that, despite all evidence to the contrary, I am not a bad person.
I spent a year away from him, a year that we decided would be our year to test the waters, to find out if we are good for each other. If you love someone, they say, you let them go. If they come back, it’s meant to be. We let each other go, and for one year, I lived a separate life – a dream that swam in and out of nightmare status.
There are moments that I would like to forget and there are moments that I will treasure forever. But they are my moments, and there are many, that I keep secret from others in my life. I wouldn’t want them to know the person that I became while I was finding myself, and I wouldn’t want them to think worse of me, as I know that they would if they were ever to know.
But he knows. And he accepts me and loves me for who I am. All of me. The good and the bad, the happy and the sad. He loves me. And that’s enough.
Inspired by today’s Daily Prompt. Here are some others expressing their secrets:
No More Secrets-The Story | Good2begone
Don’t Tell Me | The Magic Black Book
Daily Prompt: Evasive Action « Mama Bear Musings
No Whole Skeletons | Daily Prompt: Evasive Action | likereadingontrains
6/4 Daily Prompt: Evasive Action | family photos food & craft
Daily Prompt: Evasive Action | Basically Beyond Basic
My Involvement With The Kennedy Assassination | The Jittery Goat