Today’s Daily Prompt asks us what we would do if we knew that we couldn’t fail. Here is my big dream.
A single piece of paper, black with text, lies atop a keyboard on a desk filled with papers – leave applications, memos and reminders strewn around willy-nilly and going unnoticed for the most part. I know that this one will be noticed though. It’s accompanied by an empty desk, cleared of belongings and a blank computer screen.
“Dear Dianne,” the note begins.
“I’m sorry to do this to you on such short notice. I know that this will leave you in the lurch and that leaves a sinking feeling in my heart knowing that I have let so many people down. But this is something that I need to do for myself.”
“I haven’t been happy,” it would continue. “I am not meant to sit behind a desk from 8 to 5. I am meant for bigger things, greater heights and aspirations. I am meant to be a writer, a photographer, a person of the world rather than stuck in a small town rut in a company that I don’t belong to.
My fingers’ longing for the keyboard is not being fulfilled typing out reflex responses to the same questions day in, day out. My imagination should not be limited to what advert we should run in the same unchanging magazine month after month.”
“I’m sorry,” it concludes. “Thank you for believing in me. Goodbye.”
I write the note in my mind, letter by letter, word by word, piece by piece, and in my mind I place it on the desk and walk out, leaving everything that I have known for the past two years behind. I unhook the tag from my keychain and place it gently on my own keyboard, a symbol of my heartfelt goodbye, and I leave, not looking back.
I go home and have the first peaceful sleep that I can remember, knowing for certain that I have done the right thing – that I cannot fail. Knowing that my skill as a photographer will overcome any obstacles that stand in my way. Knowing that I am in demand, that work will come to me and that I can make up the monthly income with portrait sessions, events and weddings galore. Knowing that the company I have been working towards for the past two years will be a success – not a doubt in my mind.
And then my mind catches up with reality, and I see the situation that I am faced with. An amateur, self-taught photographer in a small town with little business at the best of times. A person who is too awkward in social situations to make something of herself, to network and to stand out from a crowd. My dreams of setting myself free fade into a background of self-doubt, and I turn back to my desk, my half-hour of daydreaming complete.
Back to work.
Other dreamers today include:
Adventure of a Lifetime | vicariously in love with you
Daily Prompt: Too Big To Fail « Mama Bear Musings
Inner Hotshot University! | Misifusa’s Blog
Madness and Motherhood | The Magic Black Book
Daily Prompt: Too Big To Fail | suzie81’s Blog