This week’s Writing Challenge on the Daily Post hits a nerve that is close to my heart. It’s something that I have been thinking about a lot recently, so I thought that I would share my views here rather than just keeping them tied in knots in my mind.
I have no one but myself to blame for my internet addiction.
I have never been particularly comfortable making conversation in person – it tends to involve talking to people face to face, which is not something that I find easy to do. I prefer to be masked by a screen at first, and will happily meet face to face once that first hurdle of introduction has passed, but I find meeting people for the first time in person to be a daunting idea. It’s mostly because I lack self-confidence, and end up wondering what they must be thinking of me – Did I choose the wrong outfit? Do I sound completely dense? Am I talking too much? These are things that one doesn’t need to worry about online, because you can carefully pick and choose your words, and even if you are saying the entirely wrong thing it’s not a disaster, because the person on the other end of the line has no idea who they are talking to. You don’t have to worry about what you look like – it’s your mind that matters, and that is one area that I am fairly confident in.
With the invention of a million new ways to communicate – with the world at my fingertips at work, at home and wherever I am – I have actually been finding it more difficult to communicate, both in person and online. I have become intimidated by chat rooms, have become far more reserved in person and have become far more prone to turn to the internet to solve my inner worries. But that isn’t due to the accessibility of the internet – it is due to my own mental degeneration.
Had it not been for the internet, I would not know half of the people that I do at the moment and I would be a complete hermit. The internet provides me with a space in which I can be myself and can stop myself from going insane. I have a feeling that without it, I would have gone insane a long time ago.